Catch Me
by Emilielt
Summary: Remus/Sirius - College AU - What if Remus and Sirius met at their second year of college? Would their personal struggles hold them back or could they grow stronger together?
1. Chapter 1

It was out of pure luck that Remus got this student job in the first place. He could never had seen himself standing behind the counter, spelling people's names wrong on cups at a Starbucks or flipping burgers at a nasty fast food chain. Neither expensive coffees nor greasy fries had ever been his thing. Just being close to fried food tickled his uvula.

Now he was here. Taking shifts at a small bookstore almost every noon through night. The college students knew the store as a place for peculiar gray-faced language and culture majors. The socially accepted usually chose to study at the common libraries around campus, or if they on rare occasions wanted to actually spend money on a good read they'd rather pay Barnes & Noble a visit.

Remus understood all this completely fine and he always told himself – as he talked to himself often – that it would actually make him cringe if the bookstore was ever to be crowded. He liked to have an extensive period of alone time and the only person he could endure to spend longer periods of time with was Lily. Friendly and somewhat quiet – much like him. With her, he didn't really need any other company.

Right now he was sitting in a dusty green armchair studying for a test in his Philology class on Thursday. He held the book too close to his face, his vintage 1950s ray ban eye glasses pushed back in his hair. His light brown locks were cut short on the sides and left longer on the top. At his relatively early age of nineteen he occasionally noticed a gray hair but it didn't exactly bother him. His white tee and dark gray khakis were too loose on him and Lily had been badgering him since early spring to let her pick some new clothes for him.

His feet rested on the edge of the chair, his knees supporting his book. When the doorbell suddenly jingled his feet fell instinctively to the floor and he straightened his back so his spine clicked all the way up.

Two boys – guys, whatever people said nowadays – confidently stepped into the den. Remus thought that one of them seemed familiar but couldn't remember from where. The burning sun peaked in through the door and he could see sparkles of sweat by their temples. They let the door close behind them and the large chandelier was again the main light source of the room. Lily was better with people so when they were both on shift she always served the costumers.

She smiled so her dimples showed and she ran her fingers through her glossy layered copper hair.

"Hey guys. How can I help you?" she said in a soft voice.

One of the boys, a tad taller than the other, cleared his throat.

"I'm looking for a couple of books," he searched in the back pocket of his shorts, "Two seconds," he added.

He pulled out a note and read, "One, The Communist Manifesto. Two, Democracy in America. Do you have those? I prefer paperbacks."

Remus also preferred paperbacks. That way you could really tell what books he liked to read over and over again.

Lily nodded and went to the shelf with books for Political Science.

Now Remus was alone with the two boys. They were both taller, more athletic and just in general nicer sculpted than him. He kept reading but he didn't really absorb anything, his eyes just rolled over the words. He tried to pretend he hadn't noticed them, but was failing miserably.

The one who had asked for books and who must've been a Political Science major narrowed his eyes and smirked. He pointed casually at Remus' book.

"Hey, man. What are you reading?"

Oh no. He's _talking_ to me, Remus thought.

His gaze went to the ceiling, before staring obviously at the boy's perfect wavy black mane.

"Er—Me? Oh. I'm just studying for a test. No big deal." He added, trying to play it cool.

"Nice."

He sent Remus a crooked half-smiled and then he turned to his friend and started talking but Remus couldn't really hear what they were saying – probably just some friendly chatter. They looked really laid back and cool.

They are probably popular with the women, he thought.

After a couple of minutes, which felt like hours to Remus, Lily returned carrying two heavy-looking books.

"Okay. Here they are," she said and dumped them on the counter.

"It looks like we only have extended editions and with commentary, but that's also fine, right?" She grinned at them both.

"Thanks. Yeah, that's great." He paid for the books with a big note and tipped in the empty glass besides the calculator.

"Have a nice evening. See you around."

He went out of the door, but his friend stood still for a second looking playful. He stepped forward and held his phone in his hand.

"Hey, I'm James. You look really pretty," he added to Lily. "Maybe you'd like to go out sometime? Grab a coffee or something?"

It was true what James was saying. Lily was a really pretty girl and it wasn't unusual that boys gave her that kind of attention. Despite that, she always got a little shy in these situations.

She giggled and her cheeks turned light pink.

"I'm Lily," she nodded approvingly. "Sure, I'd love to grab a coffee sometime."

James passed her his phone and Lily gave him her number.

"See you later," he said and the door squeaked behind him.

Remus couldn't keep himself from chuckling quietly.

"And you did it again, Lily."

She snorted.

"I can't help it. I don't know what any of those guys see in me. They probably just want to screw," she added. "It's more romantic to say that they met a girl in a bookstore than at a fraternity party, don't you think?"

"Well, yes indeed." Remus looked a little unfocused again and he fumbled with his hair.

"What time is it anyway?"

Lily looked on her phone.

"It's ten minutes to seven. We can just close now, it won't matter."

Remus agreed and he put his Philology book in his brown leather backpack. Then they cleared the desk, put a few books back on shelves, emptied the trashcan and grabbed the tips from the glass before they left and locked the door behind them.

Remus and Lily shared a dorm room. It was a rare occurrence that a boy and a girl were allowed living together, but there had been a mistake in the system freshman year and they never decided to complain. They both felt truly lucky that they had each other. They had been good friends right from the start. Both being English majors they went to a lot of the same classes. They always paired up for group work – Remus being more comfortable that way. He realized that Lily was significantly more likeable and talkative than him, thus he had acknowledged that she had other friends. The days they didn't work in the bookstore she was always out with her girlfriends and in the weekends she attended fraternity parties. Remus had never drunken alcohol – only sipped at a glass of red wine, which he thought tasted too bitter – but Lily was obviously a thousand times more experienced at that. In fact, Lily had more know-how than Remus when it came to almost anything. She also had flings with various boys through their first year of college, but Remus just didn't care for women. Actually, he didn't really know what he cared for at all.

Against Remus' will they had spent their tips on coffees from Starbucks on their way home. They took the elevator and walked through the hallway that was covered in hideous red felt. Remus locked the door open as Lily balanced their green-lidded coffees. He went straight to his bed, fell flat against the sheets and buried his face in the soft mattress.

"You tired?"

An approving sound came from Remus.

"I want to watch a movie. You with?"

She put their beverages on her nightstand and shook Remus' shoulders. He sat up, reached for his coffee and took a sip.

"Mmmm. Vanilla latte."

His hair was greasy and there were fingerprints on his glasses.

"What about The Notebook?" She waved it enthusiastically before his eyes.

He moaned. "No way. Too depressing."

"I vote for Dirty Dancing," he outburst.

"Come on. We watched that two times last week."

Remus begged her and at last Lily gave in.

"Tomorrow I decide," she proclaimed.

They both sat in Remus' bed and watched Dirty Dancing on his laptop. They knew the songs and they both made hazy hand gestures and body movements to follow Patrick Swayze dancing. After a while they had both finished their lattes and Lily had fallen asleep resting her head on Remus' shoulder. He thought he could feel a small drool pool through his sleeve, but he didn't care. It was Lily and he cared so much for her.

One man down Remus couldn't make it through the movie simply being too tired. He put away his laptop and supported Lily – still half-asleep – into her bed. He tucked the bed sheet around her and hugged her. Then he decided he had to take a shower.

The entire floor shared bathroom and toilet facilities. He picked clean underwear and carrying a towel under his arm he went determined out of the door.

He thought he would be able to get the showers for himself because it was later than usual, but it appeared that there were a bunch of lads showering as he entered.

His limbs involuntarily turned stiff and he almost couldn't breath as he went past them. He felt as though he was fainting when his eyes unexpectedly met the gaze of the tall handsome boy from the bookstore. Now his perfect waves were damp and his slightly tanned skin glistened with soap. Only confident boys dared showering under the common showerheads. There were closed stalls widely known to be for those who didn't have much to be proud of. Which ones Remus used weren't hard to guess.

Remus felt awfully self-conscious and had a blank face, as the handsome boy sent the same crooked smile as earlier. Remus felt a tingling from his feet and a sensation went through his full body that made him shiver.

He quickly went into the shower stall in the corner and accidentally slammed the door, so it made a loud noise. He wanted to smash his head into the wall with embarrassment, but thought that that would probably just make another unpleasantly loud noise. Turning the water on full power he let it pour over him. Truthfully he loved showering. It was like a break from reality, a little piece of the day when he could just be all to himself and let his thoughts run free. Thinking of everything – or nothing at all.

Fortunately he boys had left when he stepped out of the stall. He was only wearing boxer shorts, hence he didn't expect anyone else to be showering at this time. Lesson learned.

He hurried back to the room where Lily was still sleeping peacefully. He crawled into bed and listened to her sweet breathing. The black-haired boy kept popping up in his mind with his impeccable waves and gleaming skin, before Remus finally gave in to his exhaustion.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus hadn't slept very well for the past two days. He didn't know what to blame – Maybe the pre-bed coffees or the late night sketching.

This morning he woke up with his glasses positioned crookedly on the hump of his nose, his naked pale back half-leaning against the wall. Green eyes peaked through the stickiness of his eyelids. He slid the tortoise specs into his hair. Pressing his hands into his eye sockets he breathed deeply.

"Morning sunshine," Lily said in a soothing giggle. She was already up and was putting in her ear studs that looked like marguerites. Her favorite.

She was always like this in the morning. In the mood and not the least grumpy. How so? He wondered. Through high school he had been like that too, but since the beginning of college he seemed chronically shattered.

His voice wasn't willing to obey yet, so he just answered with a faint smile.

"I'm going to the cafeteria. Do you want to come?"

He shook his head.

"You need some fuel, though," she tried.

He clenched his jaw. "Not today, okay? See you at work later."

"Fine. I'm crossing my fingers that you do well on the test today. I'm begging for no questions on Organic Chemistry." she added and held her hands up imitating praying.

"The test is Philology. I don't even take Chemistry. But, okay, thanks."

"Sorry, I messed up. Not really _that_ awake, I suppose. Alice is doing a test today too."

He just nodded.

He skipped breakfast merely pouring a cup of black coffee, that he only just sipped on anyway.

He thought he was running late so he strode across campus to the rhythm of The Smiths on his IPod. Confused, he was almost first to arrive to the hall, only surpassed by a bulky girl with a purple pixie cut, who was holding up three spots near the professor's desk. To his frustration her level of testosterone seemed to be at least a thousand levels higher than his own.

He picked a seat nearby the exit and began to fuddle with his papers.

He thought he did sufficient on the test, even though his studying had been questionable. His thoughts had been so out of place and despite it being the beginning of the school year he was out of focus.

Remus packed his things into the brown leather backpack without paying much attention to the other students and went towards his dorm.

The room was empty and smelled like cigarettes and sweat. He tried not to breath too heavily and opened the French window to the small terrace. All there was room for there was a cheap plastic chair and an empty beer crate. He sat on the chair making a creaking noise. Remus rummaged in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a slender – slightly bent – cigarette.

He enjoyed these moments. He leaned on the backrest, closed his eyes and tried to think of something nice. Not a lot of joyful things were going on in his life so sometimes he had to imagine a little. Suddenly it hit him. The warm sunbeams caressed his pale face and it felt like sweet kisses on his neck. From his exposed collarbones to the sweet spot behind his ear to his temples and to his early retreated hairline. It felt so nice, so calming, so comforting. Swiftly he fantasized the mystery boy's gloomy curls mixing with his light coffee strands, the boy's straight nose forcefully pushing against his cheekbones.

Every now and then he brought the cig to his slightly separated lips and inhaled.

After an adequately boring Literary Theory class he persuasively stuffed his ear buds in and turned up the volume. He lumbered towards the bookstore feeling a blister forming on his right heel.

Lily was standing behind the counter turned around to place a pile of books on the sales shelf. She didn't look Remus' way when she said,

"Hey bestie, would you mind giving a hand?"

She didn't mention that he was five minutes late.

"Of course."

He hid his backpack under the counter and grabbed a pair of paperbacks from Lily's pile.

"I've got to talk to you about something," she said.

"Yeah? What?"

"James, that guy, we went to Starbucks for lunch."

Remus thought about it for a moment.

"Really? Tell me about it"

"He texted me during Journalism. He appeared quite eager to meet up, so I agreed to grab a bite after class. I had a good time."

"Did he pay for you?"

Lily sighed thinking about it.

"No, actually. I guess he's either a cheapskate, lacks money or he's just so confident that he knows I'll go out with him again even though he's not spending money on me."

"So will you?"

"I think so. I agreed to go out with him on a proper date soon. He seems like kind of a jerk, though," she added.

"Well let's see if he even makes _you_ pay for _his food_ next time, then you can decide." He laughed teasingly.

"Actually I didn't mean a jerk like that. I mean, he seemed like he didn't cared about treating other people decently."

"How?"

"He just went into the middle of the queue like he was king and didn't let anyone tell him to go to the back. It was embarrassing, really. He can't do that the next time. Then I'll have to say something."

"Ugh, I know the type. So annoying." He rolled his eyes all the way into his skull.

Empty air and silence filled the room for a couple of minutes, but it wasn't awkward. Lily and Remus could easily be quiet together without feeling uncomfortable.

Then Lily broke it.

"We also talked about campus and the social life. James and his friend – you remember him, right? – are apparently pretty active partygoers around here. They seem really close, those two guys. He talked highly about him, but he's probably a jerk equal to him, don't you think?"

Remus had to think. He didn't hope they were both rude.

"Yeah, they're probably proper ass-holes."

Lily slid a narrow book in-between two broader ones.

Remus could count the number of costumers that afternoon on his hands. Just like he preferred it. As usual they closed a couple of minutes early and went out into the mild weather. The sun was still up and people were sitting around on benches or on the grass areas listening to music or studying.

Lily's pocket buzzed.

"Oh my god. That's James. Doesn't he have better things to do? Harass some freshmen, maybe?" She laughed. They were already on joking terms concerning James.

"He's at a party."

"On a Thursday?"

"Duh – that's normal."

"What else, then?"

"He asks me if I want to come."

"You can't get in anywhere. You're not legal."

"I think it's a frat party. I can get in. I kind of want to go."

Remus looked scrutinizing at her.

"I mean he's ill-mannered and all that, but I need some colours in my life, you know?"

He knew exactly what she meant.

"Hey," she elbowed him, "Maybe you can come too."

"Er—I don't think so, miss."

"Please, please, please, please. Be my protector."

He held up his spaghetti arms and pointed.

They both burst into laughter.

"Okay, fine, I'll give it a go."

Remus lit a cigarette and they paced to their dorm.

Lily stood in front of the mirror brushing her hair. Remus sat on his bed that he had forgotten to do in the morning. He tried to even out some sketches that he had been working when he fell asleep last night. Coal on rough paper. He mostly drew people that he had seen through the day. Like a boy with a long ponytail, a girl with oversized glasses. He scrabbled them around until his eyes caught on a drawing. It was of James' friend. There was a sketch from side perspective as a study of his nose and remaining skull anatomy. Below that was a sketch of his naked shoulders and back – like he had seen earlier in the week in the showers. He felt embarrassed and quickly hid that one in the tight space between his bed and the wall. He liked it – but no one else could see it.

When Lily was ready to go Remus hadn't done anything about himself, he looked like he just came out of work. Lily wrinkled her nose when she eyed him and he knew that she probably thought he needed a shower and a boost of energy.

"Oh boy."

"I know," he mumbled.

"Whatever, time to go."

They went after directions on Lily's phone and it took them ten minutes of walking to get there.

A confident-looking boy opened the door.

"I'm Lily. I was invited by James."

"Cool, Frank here." He pointed at himself.

"I hope it's okay that I brought a friend." She nodded in Remus' direction.

Frank eyeballed Remus judgingly, but let them both in.

It wasn't really like Remus imagined a fraternity party to be – not quite like in the movies. There weren't as many people and from where he was he couldn't see anyone smoking weed or munching forbidden brownies.

Lily did her thing. Remus could tell that she felt more comfortable and followed her lead. They both got a red solo cup containing beer. Lily took a large gulp – Remus was satisfied just observing it.

Remus caught sight of James and his friend minutes before Lily outburst,

"Look! James! Come on, Remus."

She took him by the hand and they went through the glass door to the garden where James apparently was enjoying himself a little too much. He had a crumbled solo cup in his one hand, the other resting on the back of a girl with shining red hair. Is that supposed to be some kind of fetish? Remus wondered.

As soon as James noticed them he forgot about the other girl and went to hug Lily.

Remus could see the wavy-haired boy right behind him, but tried to ignore him. James seemed happy to see them both.

"Hey man!" he said to Remus.

"What's up? I remember you from the bookstore. You're Lily's friend, right?" he continued. His voice sounded a little absent influenced by the alcohol. He padded Remus on the shoulder.

"Meet Sirius," he pointed over his own shoulder.

Sirius sent him a sincere smile and Remus didn't dare to look him in the eyes. It was just too much. He didn't know what was going on with him these days. He didn't need alcohol to feel absentminded.

"Nice meeting you again," Sirius said.

Lily pushed Remus in Sirius' direction. Sirius was sitting on a bench both his hands around the solo cup resting in his lap.

"Sit down, please. Your nerves are contagious." Sirius cackled.

Oh no. Do I look nervous? He thought. Starting to sweat, he could feel pearls on his forehead and upper lip. His back felt damp. He thought about sitting down next to Sirius, but he couldn't. He was practically stuck, not able to move one way or the other. He glanced at Lily and James who were laughing together and couldn't help but being a little jealous – because James had a good time with his best friend or because he wished to be able to feel comfortable around other people too? He didn't know.

"Are you okay there?" Sirius narrowed his eyes.

Shoot, do I look like I'm about to get a stroke? I'm making a fool out of myself, he thought.

"I, er-, I-I-I can't, I-I don-don't." Remus couldn't say a word. He let the cup fall to the ground, beer splashing around them. Quickly he got control of his legs and ran briskly to the exit. He felt trapped in a bubble. People's chatter and the music were completely muted. With adrenaline running through his body he hurried back to his dorm, where he fell onto his bed burying his face in the pillow out of pure disgrace.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus had a couple of silent days. His mood was decreasing, even though Lily did her best to cheer him up. She was good-spirited and offered continuously to talk to Remus about everything.

"How are you?" She went to the terrace where Remus was sitting bent over in the plastic chair sketching people spending time in the grass areas beneath them.

Lily fuddled his hair and stroke his neck that was starting to retrieve a healthy tan.

Remus just hummed and reviewed his sketch.

"Look. I'm sorry about Thursday. I don't know what you're expecting me to say – I didn't realise this was a problem, I mean—What exactly is the problem?"

"Don't even— Please, can we just not talk about this stuff? It's freaking me out."

"Okay, then." She moistened her lips. "Is there anything I should be aware of, sweetie?"

"No. Really. It's fine, I'm good, and can we not talk about this ever again?"

"Act like nothing happened?"

"Yeah. Promise?"

Their hands touched briefly, but Remus didn't move his eyes up from the paper.

The bookstore was closed on Sundays, so they didn't have any specific plans. They were sitting in their beds doing a little homework.

"I like the beginning of a school year," Lily said.

"It's good that we don't have a lot of homework yet, there's a long time until grades roll in and we're a step higher in the hierarchy," she continued.

"I agree… I like it too—But we're not taking many of the same classes anymore. Have you noticed that too?"

"Yeah… but you're also taking Culture Studies, right?"

"I am. We have that in common then." It made him smile.

Lily's laptop was lying on her bed. She took it and searched for something.

"Okay. Seriously, though. I feel like such a creep and there's no way he can know about this, but I checked James' schedule and he's also in our Culture Studies class."

"Really?" Remus was surprised.

"Yes. I don't want to appear weird or eager – he's way more into me and than I am into him, right?" She giggled the way only Lily could.

Remus blew through his nose shaking his head judgingly.

"You're too easy, Lily. I can tell when you're in that boy mode, honestly."

"Whatever," Lily wanted to change subject, "Sirius is probably also in the class. Wouldn't that make sense?"

It would make sense. James and Sirius probably synchronized their classes the best they could. Remus didn't know what to think or how to act about this. His thoughts wouldn't obey.

"That's highly possible," he answered, "but I don't really care."

Yes, he did.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

No.

When they entered the lecture hall late Monday morning they say what they had been predicting – What Remus had been thinking of all last night. About in the middle of the rows they sat. Sirius' curls didn't fool anybody and Remus identified him right away.

Lily and Remus didn't say anything; they just assumed that the other had seen them too. Lily was excited, Remus' back began to prickle with pearls of sweat.

She insisted in sitting right behind the two. Maybe there would be a chance of pairing up, she thought. Of course she didn't want to turn Remus down, so she didn't mention that to him.

During the lecture Remus felt his shirt sticking to the back of the chair and it made him feel disgusting. Why couldn't he just get it together?

He couldn't pay much attention to the professor talking; Sirius' cologne was distracting him. Sirius was playing some kind of old retro-looking game on his laptop and he fell down a cliff in the same spot every time. It gave Remus a weird kind of satisfaction to look at someone else playing a game. He remembered this pattern from his childhood. His friends would constantly ask if he wanted a go, but it was enough for him to just observe.

Suddenly the professor went quiet as in expecting the students to do something, but Remus hadn't listened at all. He looked at Lily, who looked like someone who was about to push a giant red button. She poked James on the shoulder.

He turned around and smiled instantly.

"Hey Lily! Have you been here all the time?" He didn't sound sincere – Remus was sure he had noticed them before.

Lily nodded and pressed her lips together to build up the courage to ask.

"I thought that we could pair up for this thing? It's just a small assignment, won't be a big deal." She presumed that she was letting Remus down, so she glanced quickly at him.

"Sure, that's awesome," James said without thinking about it.

Remus knew where this was going.

Sirius had turned around to face Remus. What other options did he have? He was sure that Sirius had other options. That girl with the brown side braid would probably give her right hand to do this assignment with him, not to mention that she was also way more attractive than Remus – girl or not.

"Are you working with anyone, —what was it? Remus?"

"Er—No." He looked down.

"We can pair up. That's fine with me," he tried.

"You don't have to," Remus said quietly.

"Sorry what?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, then. I'll text you later, we just have to do it before Saturday."

Remus wondered how he was going to text him when he didn't have his number. Sirius must've felt confident that he could just obtain any number through the contacts he already had.

When class finished Lily and Remus rushed out of the building to make sure to get a good spot in the cafeteria.

Lily kept an eye on Remus' plate to make sure he ate reasonably. Remus sat with his back to the wall, that way he had a better outlook on the dining hall. He pecked at his salad and crammed down a loaf of bread with a slice of Italian ham.

"I'm happy that James wanted to write the assignment with me."

"Then I'm happy for you."

"Are you fine working with Sirius?"

"Yes." He felt both thrilled and anxious.

"We can still swap partners if it's an issue."

She had obviously thought about it.

"Not going to be relevant."

As they were applying sticky price tags to books Wednesday afternoon Lily's phone buzzed. She quickly drew it from her pocket and looked at it.

"It's James," she said in an almost hysterical voice.

"What's he saying?"

"He wants to work on the assignment. Can I make it today?" she glanced at her wrist watch and wrinkled her eyebrows.

"Yeah, why not?"

"He wants to meet at the library half past seven. Will you be okay?"

"Yes, for God's sake! Hand me the phone." He grinned, reaching out his right hand.

"Relax." She smiled cheekily.

They went through the book pile and Lily looked like she was thinking the situation through.

Lily arrived prior to James and picked out a table where she sat and opened her laptop. She kept reloading her Facebook as if expecting something to pop up. James showed up five minutes late.

Remus was enjoying having their room on his own. He thought about the possibilities he had while he was alone. He could watch a movie that Lily always refused to watch, he could take the longest shower and then come back and walk around naked or he could just waste his time doing exactly nothing else but wondering about everything that he could have done. He picked the last option.

Lily came home around eleven o'clock and Remus was sitting in his bed scrolling through e-mails. She threw her backpack at the foot of the wardrobe and fell into her bed. Remus straightened up.

"Why didn't you tell me to come walk with or at least meet halfway? You could get raped."

"Do you think you could protect me?" she giggled.

"I don't know. It's just the principle of it."

"I'm sorry for being unconcerned."

"Did you finish the assignment?"

"No…" She chuckled. "We didn't get much done to be honest. We'll have to meet up again to do it properly."

"I see." He narrowed his eyes and blew a strand of hair away that had fallen in front of his specs. "So, what did you do?"

Lily was lying on top of her quilt still wearing all her clothes, now with her hands resting under her neck.

"We talked about too many things."

"So the jerk alarm is turned off? No red flags?"

"He's still kind of a rule-breaker. For one, he talked too loud considering we were at a library."

"Hmpf. Do we have a situation?"

"Meaning?"

"Is it going to lead to something?"

"I couldn't tell you even if I wanted. I'm physically attracted to him, but I don't like his attitude."

"Does Sirius have an attitude too?" he asked.

"From what I gathered – yes… but I think he has his reasons. He's a little frazzled at the moment."

"How so?"

"James mentioned something about sexual frustrations—man, I don't know. I don't like to talk about this."

"Why would James uncover Sirius to you that way?"

"That was James' explanation for being so willing to work with me – Sirius seems preoccupied."

"Great. Now I have to tussle with him." Remus came out fouler than he wished to. He was following his plan to seem indifferent in front of Lily, but this information genuinely made him reflect on his feelings about Sirius.

Friday night Sirius hadn't talked to Remus about their assignment yet. It was nearly too late. Remus couldn't get himself to care about this assignment, so he downloaded one from the Internet and re-wrote it a little. He sent it in the next morning signing with both their names.

At this point a week had passed since he had last seen or talked to Sirius, but he kept revising the few conversations – if you could even call it that – they had had so far. His thoughts wouldn't let him free. He was imprisoned in his own mind. Chained by his own feelings. Visuals of Sirius' shiny hair, his glistening back, and his amazing smirk were permanently burned onto Remus' retina. He wondered if Sirius felt any of this too. He didn't know what this meant.

**A/N: Please fav and follow! All comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated! x**


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